Guacamole

DRINKING: Cerveza Pacifico Clara Pilsner

INSPIRED BY: Mariachi music

SERVE WITH: Salsa fresca, carnitas, fresh corn tortillas

SPECIAL TOOLS: None

BACKGROUND NOISE: José Alfredo Jiménez – Las 100 Clasicas

How an avocado is similar to male genitalia:

– Derived from the word ahuácatl, or, ballsack.

– Known by Aztecs as the fertility fruit.

– Deep within the fleshy “ballsack” resides a large seed.

– Also known as the “alligator pear”. (My penis’s nickname is “the gator”).

– Disease can affect the fruit, causing spotting, rotting, cankers, pitting and discoloration.

– A ripe avocado yields to gentle pressure when held in the palm of the hand and squeezed.

– The fruit is not sweet, but fatty, and distinctly yet subtly flavored, and of smooth, almost creamy texture.

– It is used as a rejuvenating facial cream.

– Fits well into a meaty taco.

– Grows best in moist, warm climates.

Enjoy your guacamole.

TRICKS & TIPS: Avocado quickly discolors when mixed with the outside world. To alleviate the browning process wait to make guacamole until just ready to serve. If you are unable to do so, store guacamole in a bowl with as little surface exposure as possible. Squeeze lime juice over the top of the avocado mixture and gently apply plastic wrap directly over the top, leaving no space between the guacamole and the plastic wrap.

If discoloration does occur, simply scrape off the top of the guacamole and discard. Mix until vibrant green.

Mash up only one of the avocados at the beginning of the recipe. Add the rest at the end in chunks so the avocado texture is preserved and not rendered to a creamy mess.

Refrain from squeezing the avocado to check for ripeness as it will damage the flesh. An avocado is ready to eat when you can easily pick off the remaining nub of stem at the top of the avocado with your fingernail.

INGREDIENTS:

Serves 4-6

• 4 medium ripe avocados
• 3 tbsp red onion, minced
• 1 large garlic clove, minced
• 1 jalapeño, minced
• 1/3 cup cilantro, minced
• 2 tbsp fresh squeezed lime juice
• pinch kosher salt

EXECUTION:

1. Gently mash 1 avocado and the rest of the ingredients except the lime juice.

2. Halve and pit remaining avocados. Using a butter knife, cut 3 equal lines horizontally and vertically so that avocado is diced in its skin. Scoop out diced avocado, add lime juice and gently fold to mashed mixture.